Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in somedoofus' LiveJournal:

Friday, September 2nd, 2005
3:01 pm	Argh! Not again! Okay now, okay now... I'm back at BYU after a summer and I get pretty excited for the most part. I have a much better attitude, I'm focusing more on my writing, I'm generally happy. Of course there's always something that happens here that put's you off your mood a little. This time it came in the form of my latest Book of Mormon teacher. Anyway, I've learned to turn into a wet duck about mean/weird things here, but I guess something said bothered me just enough to want to share. This teacher is going on and on about how hard-core he is, right? He goes on and on about how he doesn't take crap from anyone, and how society makes you want to apologize for everything. Tolerance is a bad word (which I think is funny, because it's not a very precise word. To throw it out completely would be a moral conundrum, because to do so would permit any kind of violent act, which I don't think these kind of people understand). He's going on like this, but I'm used to it. He starts reading the book of Mormon. We're starting at Korrihor, the anti-Christ. He goes on and on about how he's probably good looking, very smart, very sneaky. Then he says it: "he was probably an English professor or something." :-O I loved all but maybe one of my English professors (and she wasn't bad, just not my favorite), and as an English major, I appreciate them even more. I felt like he just turned to me and tried to defecate on everything I want to be and all the people I enjoyed meeting the most, indirectly or directly. And he's so smug about it like he thinks he's some hard-core old-schooler, but to be honest, I don't differentiate him from any smug jerk. Could I go up and say he offended me, or ask him if he's talking about the professors here at BYU (doesn't solve much anyway), but he's got this attitude like he wont take "liberal" crap from no one. He wont listen because I think he was trying to scare off people like me in the first place. Keep the place filled with the pure race of Mormons I guess. I decided: I'm going to take the class. I need the credit as soon as I can get it, and I'm not going to let some hateful doofus scare me away from it. I'm not going to try to prove that I can be spiritual because spirituality is a personal journey and something I have to do for myself, my Lord, and the children of God as a general whole. I'd hope my genuine spirituality could prove him wrong, but if he's got this opinion about some of the professors here I think that might be a lost cause. I'm just going to exercise my right to take a course at BYU and be graded for my effort and learning. And also, I'm not going to be like him, I'm going to assume there are great religion professors here, until I have better reason to think otherwise. I only met two, right? *nervous look* (The last one was tolerable for the MOST part, although he inspired a skit I want to write about someday about a teacher who wants to judge which kingdom in heaven his students are going to. Just as obnoxious, but more innocent seeming). Current Mood: determined (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 5th, 2005
8:25 pm	The Religion of Pac-Man, new Poem Still using links to my website: The Religion of Pac-Man Notes on poem... It's a poem that was supposed to be kind of a joke, a psuedo Ubi Sunt, but I don't think I understood exactly what that was supposed to be. But I still like it. And I dare you to deny that Pac-Man doesn't ring a bell of innocence and simpler days. Current Mood: anxious (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
12:01 am	I Wrote a New Poem And against my better judgement, I posted it in a community rather than just posting it here and linking to here, but I'd rather promote the Misfit Mormons than myself anyway. Here is the link to cut and pasteL http://www.livejournal.com/community/misfitmormon/232587.html Have a good day, y'all Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Friday, February 4th, 2005
6:22 pm	Here is a Bizzare Poem I wrote... In response to fatkiddelux's entry about the difficulty of writing happy poetry. Not joyous, but this one is happy in the peacefull way, with only a slight mention of pain. :P It's weird, even by some of my standards, but I kinda like it. Wait until I wake up tomorrow and hurriedly make this a private thingy or what not. Swimming The water off a duck's back from dirty feathers beads off and falls into the lake -You can feel it swimming invisibly Running water moves smooth Moves slow, moves clean, moves serene Makes ducks, ponds, people clean Runs over mountains, washes rocks and cleans yet Massages, yet then flows things small- it will Feel much like a waking child In the arms of an understanding lover And it moves inside you and it lifts your legs it lifts and moves into supermarkets Bistros, bedrooms, livingrooms, factories and the trendy cafes where you don't belong The running water lifts lips In the Undertime where smiles can't be seen maybe expressed, maybe Unseen the anti-matter to the keroscene Then falls into cracks and risks getting stagnant so you increase the pressure and the water flows and Flows and enlarges It gorges and slorshes and soon the displaced is clean enough so yes, you must soon give up Then you forget and walk away Into Loves and likes and happy seconds You Love and you walk away Sometimes wailing the getting smaller Yet It must be Clean It must be pure -You can feel it swimming invisibly Clean, clean-unseen and serene Smooths lifts and flows... -You can feel it swimming invisibly Current Mood: relaxed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 18th, 2005
11:26 am	Hurray and Absolutely Pretentious Bragging So here I am still. Doing an online journal thingy for reasons I do not understand or recognize. I've got a "hot date" tonight, it will be the second date from a date that went very well, so... yay! Yay until we both realize I'm just a big FREAK anyways. :P So anyway, I did a writing excercise the other day (last night) and i just typed it up to give to my teacher today. I realized it's as much of a journal entry than anything else so I will cut and paste. OH! It's pretentious for one thing, so I hope you can swallow that, and also it was supposed ot be a dialogue to my self, but part-way through I break from you and start saying I. So there you have it: So! You devious little man, you scorning humbug, you punk-ass jello-hater, scourge of the plastic-bagging Cheerio fiends and corn-flake casseroles. You’ve reached a stage where you’re confident in yourself. You used to stand up to no one, letting people walk all over you, but you learned to stop caring too much what others think. You were so concerned with not being one of those assholes who are careless with other people’s feelings, who stomp on other people’s houses and loves because the inconvenience of stepping around this obstacles wouldn’t suit you. But you became better than that, didn’t you? You learned after years of cringing at the drop of another person’s pin, you learned how to be happy, and for the most part you avoided becoming an asshole. I am still concerned with other people’s feelings, yet I still love people who are different than me. That’s right, I love you you right-wing conservatives. You hate me, despise me, and in return I have long vowed to be better than you and I’m winning hands down 10-0. And thank you BYU: you’re great gift to me has been to get me to stop caring what other people think. You school of frightened children, annoyed prunes, perfect models of askew towers. With your uneven hate, blank passions, bizarre indifference, I have been forced to shut out the opinions of others and I have found great happiness. You have held up the rod and I shouted ‘bite me!’ and held up my own, and we’ve been little school children playing knights and buccaneers with our pretend swords ever since. You are the fire that forged me: I will never hate myself again. My self-love will be eternal, and I understand I’m supposed to love others as much as I love myself and I DO find myself loving more. My relationship to God has been the most honestly devout it has ever been and I earnestly hope everyday that what I have is the Love of Christ. Current Mood: content (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 8th, 2005
11:33 pm	So shoot me I feel very good about this semester in BYU. My room mates don't care for me too much, my only friends are in Salt Lake. And I decide just to work on personal projects today. Of course I goof around but don't get too much done so I just feel crappy. I'm starting to talk to people and socialize more in my classes (I love my drama class) but everything seems to be going really slow. Takes me a while to meet people it does. Now I read back and notice that the first sentence doesn't seem to relate to the rest of that 1st paragraph. Silly goose that I am. Actually, I am feeling good about this semester academically. And I've stopped caring what other people think, as long as I'm treating them well. I had some amazing experience I might share later (prolly not) that helped me get to this mind set. I've got room to improve, but I'm happy and happy with myself. I remember thinking yesterday: I'm really happy. Of course, that didn't happen today, but you know how it is. If you read this far: good for you! Hope you're happy. That's all this life is about anyway, the people you love and being happy. No, I don't think that's against church doctrine, lol, and will argue it later when I feel like a rant. Grr. If it wasn't late I would start my webcomic again. I'll do it tomorrow. Ooh! It's in writing now, I HAVE to! Current Mood: frustrated (4 Comments |Comment on this)